Lost it have I?

Been wondering what it is that makes me lose stuff. Why is it that I am forever scrambling to find my car keys, house keys, cell phones, hairbrush, scissors etc. and why do I lose things on such a regular basis? What makes me Amnesia personified on two feet? Not only do I drive people around the bend having them search for my things but I also send the divine into a tizzy. This in the form of frenzied invocations in Sanskrit slokas for Amarnath’s Bhole to prayers in the Queen’s English for St Anthony asking him to please please come down because something is lost, and can't be found.

Sometimes it doesn’t work and what’s lost is never found like the cellphone (yes another ancient that was a prequel to the iSmash), house keys, a favorite writing implement, driving license etc.

And sometimes it works – like when the security guards at office found my wallet with its entire content that validate and confirm my existence on paper (this included the new driving license that my father effortlessly facilitated, saving me from the excessive trauma one undergoes when trying to procure a government issued document).

I did try and blame my losses on a colleague in office and the kid at home, claiming that they were last seen around the lost objects. While the former said she sold all the items in the black market, the latter threw off all allegations. The rest squarely blame me.

“You’re plain careless.”

“You’re not organized.”

“You’re hyper.”

“You think too much.”

“You try to do too much.”

 “You’re growing old – it’s a natural process of decay.”

“Alzheimer’s?”

All of the above?

Or it could be the car – it’s eating up things that I leave locked inside it. Scrunch, scrunch and it’s gone!

Then there’s the WWW consoling us that we are not the only ones with all the above or menacingly attributing the memory lapses to some incurable unique degeneration of the self. After being told (again) that I think too much and that possibly much more than the mandatory six impossible things were crowding my brains and cramping my memory, I wondered if I was possibly attention deficit ( the WWW informs me adult ADHD exists). Just for grins sake, I took an online test that proclaimed “Mild ADHD possible”. Drat! Just a ‘mild’ and ‘maybe’ and not even a worthy enough reason that could justify to all around that it is not my fault?

Meanwhile, I lost my Sodexho coupons...